you know those moments where you just think "who am i?" or "why am i like this?" or "how am i going to do this?" or "am i really good enough?" ? i had a moment like that yesterday.
i was going through a box of mission stuff last night: pictures, journals, scriptures, talks i've marked up, etc. etc. and while i was looking through these memories i longed for that girl. first of all, i was skinnier on my mission (minus the end, that's when i gained everything back plus some), i was more spiritual on my mission-i always said i wouldn't be one of those returned missionaries that loses it or breaks good solid habits. i am one though. it's a lot harder than i thought it would be. i still do the small things but it's definitely not as enlightening or powerful as it was then. i was more disciplined on my mission, i was more service oriented and a lot more selfless-i never had time to think of myself, now it feels like "every man for himself" and even though i know i did i don't feel like i ever doubted my capabilities of something being possible.
i knew miracles happened. and even now i still KNOW but fear seems to sneak in a lot more lately.
don't get me wrong. i LOVE my life right now. i have been so blessed. and if i was still that girl running around in knee highs, my name tag would say 'sister neumann' and not 'sister king'. i absolutely love the boy i married. he gives me hope. he gives me strength. he makes me cry. he makes me smile. he makes me laugh. in fact last night in my moment of self pitty i said a little prayer and asked Heavenly Father to help me see myself the way He sees me and to help me know that i am worth it, that i can do it, and that even though my house is a mess, homework never stops, i'm tired, chubby, and exhausted all the time that i am worth all the blessings He's given me. in that very moment matt rolled over, hugged me, and told me he loved me and was grateful that i am his wife.
in that moment i knew who i was.
i am wife. i am a daughter. i am sister. i am a friend. i am co-worker. i am an aunt.
i am a daughter of God.
i am an extraordinary being.
You Are Eternal
i was going through a box of mission stuff last night: pictures, journals, scriptures, talks i've marked up, etc. etc. and while i was looking through these memories i longed for that girl. first of all, i was skinnier on my mission (minus the end, that's when i gained everything back plus some), i was more spiritual on my mission-i always said i wouldn't be one of those returned missionaries that loses it or breaks good solid habits. i am one though. it's a lot harder than i thought it would be. i still do the small things but it's definitely not as enlightening or powerful as it was then. i was more disciplined on my mission, i was more service oriented and a lot more selfless-i never had time to think of myself, now it feels like "every man for himself" and even though i know i did i don't feel like i ever doubted my capabilities of something being possible.
i knew miracles happened. and even now i still KNOW but fear seems to sneak in a lot more lately.
don't get me wrong. i LOVE my life right now. i have been so blessed. and if i was still that girl running around in knee highs, my name tag would say 'sister neumann' and not 'sister king'. i absolutely love the boy i married. he gives me hope. he gives me strength. he makes me cry. he makes me smile. he makes me laugh. in fact last night in my moment of self pitty i said a little prayer and asked Heavenly Father to help me see myself the way He sees me and to help me know that i am worth it, that i can do it, and that even though my house is a mess, homework never stops, i'm tired, chubby, and exhausted all the time that i am worth all the blessings He's given me. in that very moment matt rolled over, hugged me, and told me he loved me and was grateful that i am his wife.
in that moment i knew who i was.
i am wife. i am a daughter. i am sister. i am a friend. i am co-worker. i am an aunt.
i am a daughter of God.
i am an extraordinary being.
You Are Eternal
There will always be voices telling you that you are foolish to believe that you are swans, insisting you are but ugly ducklings and that you can’t expect to become anything else.
But you know better. Because of the revealed word of a merciful God, you have seen your true reflection in the water and you have felt the eternal glory of that divine spirit within you. You are no ordinary beings, my beloved young friends all around the world. You are glorious and eternal.
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3 comments:
You ARE amazing!!
Marissa- You are one special girl. I truly mean that. You helped me in more ways than you could ever know. I don't know what I would have done without you during my experience at UVSC. Seriously! I am sure I am one of many people that you have had such an positive influence on. Keep you head high. You are an amazing person that has so much potential for good. You are loved by many, including me!
Thank you. :)
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